Coercive control became a criminal offence in the UK under the Serious Crime Act 2015. This legislation was a significant step forward in recognising the harm caused by controlling and coercive behaviour in intimate or family relationships, which can lead to serious psychological harm and emotional abuse. The introduction of this offence aimed to provide better protection to victims and ensure that perpetrators are held accountable for their actions.
So why are we still getting it so very wrong?
Like many men and women across the UK, it was only when I was out of that situation that I learned how controlled I had been. I found the strength and courage to leave and was handed a questionnaire which indicated that I had been a victim of coercive control.
And now in 2026 coercive control is being minimised and misunderstood. Professionals aren’t even using the term, coercive control, but instead words like “a fractious relationship” and “a verbal argument” are being used.
A fractious relationship is one characterised by tension, conflict and frequent disagreements between parties involved.
The key difference lies in the power dynamic; fractious implies mutual disagreement, while coercive control involves a clear imbalance of power and systematic subjugation.
A verbal argument is usually a disagreement between two or more people, where there is an exchange of differing opinions, often with both parties expressing their views and feelings. It can be heated, but typically, both individuals have a voice.
Coercive control on the other hand, is a systemic pattern of behaviour designed to dominate and control another person. It goes beyond a simple argument and involves a range of tactics like intimidation, isolation, manipulation, threats and financial abuse, all aimed at eroding the victim’s autonomy and sense of self. They key here, is the intent to control and the ongoing nature of the abuse, rather than just a one-off disagreement.
When are we going to get this right?
If we aren’t talking about coercive control we aren’t talking about domestic abuse because it’s there at the beginning and it’s there at the end. It’s the thread that runs through domestic abuse.
We must get it right, from the beginning not the end, because that’s where coercive control starts, right at the beginning of the cycle.
Everyone sees the caring partner right at the beginning, the only person who seeing the controlling perpetrator is the person experiencing domestic abuse.
I met him one Friday night, and looking back, that is exactly when the coercive control started. Like we all do in everyday conversations, we spoke to each other, I told him where I lived, how I loved my job, what my job was, how I was close to my mum and how I lived for my social life.
When I moved in with him, those are the first three things he took away from me, in a subtle and cunning way. In such a way that I felt he cared for me, he loved me and that he genuinely wanted to spending time with me.
Coercive control seeps in through the cracks right at the honeymoon period of the situation, when everything is new and exciting and of course you want to spend every single second with that person.
Your appearance, your behaviour, your conversation and your life changes but theirs doesn’t, it stays the same throughout the whole of the time you are with them. You stop seeing friends and family, you stop calling and texting them, you stop going to work, you stop living, you simply start to exist.
The most important thing that we must focus on when talking about coercive control and controlling behaviour is the impact it has on the individual experiencing it. That is key to why the perpetrator treats them this way.
It strips you of everything until all that is left is a shell. If coercive control is recognised or responded to, nothing will ever change in the domestic abuse arena.
Creating more awareness of coercive control involves a multi-faceted approach, targeting different groups and using various communication channels.
Domestic abuse is a national emergency, and we must treat it as such.
Public Education Campaigns: Launch campaigns such as Holly’s Law Kienas Law using social media, TV, radio and print media to explain what coercive control is, provide examples, and highlight its impact. These campaigns should be accessible and use clear, simple language.
Professional Training: Provide mandatory training for frontline professionals such as police officers, healthcare providers, social workers, educators and legal professionals. This ensures they can identify coercive control, understand its dynamics, and respond appropriately.
School Curriculum: Introduce age-appropriate education on healthy relationships and consent.
Strengthen laws: Advocate for stronger laws that specifically address and criminalise coercive control. Ensuring that perpetrators are held accountable and those who experience this insidious crime receive justice
Support Services: Increase funding and accessibility for support services for survivors, including counselling, legal aid and financial assistance.
Workplace Policies: Encourage workplaces to implement policies that address, adapt and adjust to coercive control, offering support to employees who may be experiencing it.
Media: Encourage media outlets to portray coercive control accurately and sensitively in TV shows, films, documentaries and news reports. This will help normalise conversations and reduce stigma
Survivor stories: Share survivor stories, all of them not only high-profile experiences.
By combining these strategies, we can foster a greater understanding of coercive control, empower individuals to recognise and address it, and ultimately crate safer communities.
Coercive control thrives in silence, but with every conversation, every shared story, and every moment of recognition, we chip away at its power. It’s time we collectively refuse to let this insidious form of abuse hide in plain sight. Let’s commit to educating ourselves and others, supporting survivors, and demanding a world where love is truly free, respectful, and empowering – never controlling.
Your voice, your awareness, and your courage are vital in turning the tide against coercive control creating a future where genuine connection can flourish without fear.
However, whilst individual awareness is crucial, the fight against coercive control also demands robust government action. Legislation must be strengthened and consistently enforced to recognise and prosecute all forms of coercive control, not just physical violence. Furthermore, governments have a responsibility to adequately fund support service, safe housing and long-term recovery programs for every survivor.
By prioritising comprehensive training for the police, legal professionals, social workers and by launching public awareness campaigns, the government can send a clear message that coercive control is a serious crime that will not be tolerated, therefor creating a safer society for everyone.